On adoration, and how we address that

I think I prefer the Japanese-san

Tonight, I am going to the book launch for the esteemed and brilliant Guy Vanderhaeghe’s newest work, Because Somebody Asked Me To, at McNally Robinson Booksellers.

I have met the author several times, and interviewed him as well. He lives here, in my city. This is a thrilling fact. I see him in restaurants. I love that.

To say I adore and am awed by him would be understatement, but those are the words I can find. He won the Governor General’s Award for Fiction THREE times: for Man Descending (1982), the collection of short stories that won over even Alice Munro (and won him a Faber, too); for The Englishman’s Boy (1996), also made into a movie; and for Daddy Lenin and Other Stories (2015).

He has also been given many other awards and honours, such as being invested as an Officer of the Order of Canada.

Not only that, he is a very very nice human being.

On the goofy part of this post.

It occurred to me, the other day, that I would love to address him with an honorific when he signs my book tonight. Something that would demonstrate my respect for him. Something touching, without being sycophantic. But also, something appropriate.

He is not greatly older than I am. We have met many times, including at a mutual friend’s funeral. Mr. Vanderhaeghe would just be . . . weird. And besides, we in English society call pretty much everyone Mister. This hardly sets one’s greeting apart, nor does it really represent respect when it’s so widely used.

So we have Mr. for men. Mrs. for married women. Miss for unmarried women. Ms. for women in general. Then we have honorifics for military personnel (general, captain) and religious leaders (reverend, father, rabbi, and so on.)

How we address folk has certainly changed over the years, but not so greatly that I can find any help for this situation. (Which would also be a problem were I to meet, say, The Great Margaret Atwood. But I could hardly call her that to her face. Right? This is not an isolated issue.)

Do other cultures have such honorifics? Also, am I being ridiculous?

The closest thing I could come up with was the Japanese use of -san.

According to Wikipedia, “-san is the most commonplace honorific and is a title of respect typically used between equals of any age.” It means, basically, “dear.”

I love that, but again, widely used.

We also have “-sama” in Japanese, “a more respectful version for individuals of a higher rank than oneself.” It’s used for deities (so like Buddha-sama or Jesus Christ-sama) but also “sometimes towards people one greatly admires.”

So “very dear?” Might work. I do greatly admire him.

Hmmm.

But there is also “sensei.”

“It is used to show respect to someone who has achieved mastery in an art form or some other skill, such as accomplished novelists, musicians, artists, and martial artists.”

Oho. Now I’m getting somewhere. Still, referring to one of my favourite and much revered authors as “sensei” in an English-speaking environment might be very weird.

So I’m going to try to come up with an English version. That will only work, mind, if it catches on, because if I start throwing around some newly concocted honorific, people will look at me as if I’ve gone mad. And perhaps with validity.

All suggestions welcome, by the way. Ha.

Good honorific options unavailable, I will probably just gush and wriggle and tell him how amazing he is tonight. I hope he’s not thoroughly embarrassed. Eep.

ADDENDUM:

Because Somebody Asked Me To is a work of non-fiction. I gather it is, sort of, a memoir.

Possibly fascinating to authors will be this element (quote from McNally):

“The book also examines how the Canadian literary scene has shifted during the course of his career — the economic, societal, and cultural changes that have made the old world of writing and publishing scarcely recognizable.”