Reading can be hard. But it just might save your life.

Authors, friends and readers share books that changed everything, part two. And thank you, Gabor Maté

I recently watched an hour-long YouTube presentation by Gabor Maté, the Canadian physician and author of such books as When the Body Says No and The Myth of Normal.

I have been quite fascinated by the brain-body connection, particularly the long-term health effects of trauma, for some time. How our memories upset our stomachs (mine almost always hurts). How we remember emotional pain in our limbs. How our hearts jump when we are reminded of horrific events.

But the epiphany that came when I listened to Maté that day was nothing short of a gut-punch.

He related his own story of being an infant in 1944 Budapest when the Nazi army stormed into Hungary. He was tiny, perhaps four months old.

According to his mother, baby Gabor was inconsolable. He cried and cried and would not stop. Finally, very concerned, she called the doctor.

As I recall the story, the doctor said, “Yes, I will come to see Gabor. But, Mrs. Maté, I should tell you that all my Jewish babies are crying.”

The babies were crying because their mothers were terrified. The wee ones knew nothing of stormtroopers. But they knew their mothers were in distress.

Our traumas, then, are not always just our own. They are also intergenerational. They are also transferred from those who love us most.

Or, far too often, from those who should love us most, but do not.

I have started reading Gabor Maté, and have also completed The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk.

I have always known that stress makes your body behave in intense and often unpleasant ways: fight or flight or freeze. However, this deeper understanding of how the hippocampus (which stores memory) speaks to your organs, quite unbeknownst to the other parts of your brain, has quite changed the way I view . . . everything. And perhaps everybody.

Others have also found difficult reading life-changing. Here are some of their non-fiction saviours and eye-openers. Thank you, my friends, so much for sharing.

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle

Megan Davies, friend, newspaperer: (There were) many huge messages, but the biggest one was learning about my ego and how I identified with it. When we got laid off from the SP (The StarPhoenix, the Saskatoon daily paper), I realized how much I believed that “who I was” was where I worked or what I did for work.

So when Black Saturday happened and I realized I was no longer an employee there, and chances were I’d never work at another newspaper (universe had a surprise! Two more after that lol), that really messed with my head for a long time. I lost my identity and had to figure out who I really was.

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Dr. Susan Forward

Lynn, friend and author (last name withheld for privacy): My mother is abusive. Physically and emotionally. I spent much of my childhood and young adulthood trying to make her like me. Trying to find a way to have the relationship I wanted. This book was the first one to put into words what I was going through and gave me permission to move past this. It said I did not have to forgive or forget, but I could accept that she was flawed and it wasn’t my fault. And also that I could, if I need to, walk away from the relationship.

The Last Doctor by Dr. Jean Marmoreo

Sam Maciag, CBC journalist: (It’s) about being one of the first doctors to provide MAID in Canada. It gave me a kind of insight and understanding that I never had before.

Dispatches by Michael Herr

Dan Zakreski, CBC journalist: The book I wish I’d written. Tone, language, subject matter. Every Vietnam movie — Apocalypse Now, Deer Hunter, Platoon, Full Metal Jacket — stole from this book.

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

Ward Kewley, friend: Randy Pausch said, “it’s not the things we do in life that we regret on our deathbed, it is the things we do not.” I can’t say loud enough that every single one of us should read this book.

The Female Eunuch by Germaine Greer

Cheryl Burman, author: While it didn't have me burning my bra, it's a book which has always remained with me.

Death Be Not Proud by John J. Gunther

Barbara Daniels Dena, author: It really made me aware that bad things happen to good people. Be prepared.

The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova

Rose L. Geer-Robbins, author: It taught me that history and myths can co-exist.

The Primal Wound by Nancy Newton Verrier

Lily Lawson, poet and author: I think The Primal Wound helped me understand people better.

MORE

Amy Jo Ehman, author: Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl

Becky Fettig, author: The Magic of Believing, Claude M. Bristol