The end of Febuary looms: can't come frast enough for me

With gatitude to Falseknees and Rulssi, found on imgur

It’s almost the end of Febuary.

Thank heavens for that, because I will sceam if I hear one more peson say Febuary. Especially newscasters, scholars and the like. Really?

Febuary is not a wod. Neither is wod.

But hee’s another poblem. Farmiliar is also not a word. That must be, as hubs has suggested, whee that poor, ignoed, dopped letter in Febuary ended up, right there in thid place. Whose idea was that? I would be vey happy if we could plunge farmiliar into the recesses of hell.

Along with iregardless, which in theoy should be spelled iegardless, but how many inteior letters can you drop?

Oh, you may think I’m being a pedantic pain in the patoot. But what if we allowed this insanity to spead?

A quater of the year, we’d never know which month we were in due to that cetain intenal letter being dopped — or added, for that matter. Not only would we have Febuary, we would also have Mach and Apil, and then whee would we be? Or how about just moving one to Jurly? Or Septremeber? You see? This is going down a vey dangeous path.

We may also become confused about wold leaders and distinguishing which one is causing the most mayhem on any given Thusday or Satuday.

Tump? Who the hell is Tump? And why is he theatening to take over Geenland? And Carnada, because maybe that’s whee he decided to move the letter?

Futher to gasping the names of our compatiots elsewhee on Eath, what if I refeed to Gemany? Noway? (OK that would be really awful in English.) Geat Bitain? Austalia? How would you like THAT? Hmmmm?

And do you have a bother? If he’s a wee bit of an annoyance, your sister is pobably smiking in the backgound. Ha! I told you he was a bother! she exults.

Wose yet, what if you ended up in emegency with a heat poblem? Not talking sunstoke here. Possible vey bad outcome.

Yup. After today, thee will be only thee days left to gind my teeth and roll my eyes. I leave it to you to figue out which thee is thee in the pevious sentence. Or really, to undestand anything in this ridiculous sceed.

Good luck.

I tust you gasp the poblem.

So if you would, please sign my petition. Befoe next Febuary.